5 Things to STOP doing to make you happy!

Updated: Jun 12

I will be Happy When......l get that new job.........I get that new car........I get a new boyfriend.......... l get a new home.............. my kids are a bit older..........haircut

If you would like to find out more in this area of your life book into the Breakthrough package to learn what to stop doing! I will work with you to discover to create change easily and effortlessly!


Can you relate to some of the acronyms above? There are certainly times in our lives when we feel like things are not working for us and this is quite normal, however when this occurs instead of making ourselves feel bad, just imagine when sitting alone that you have your best friend sitting beside you then ask yourself what would you say to your friend if they came and told you they were feeling exactly the same way you are feeling right now? Would you say oh don't be so stupid, your an idiot to think like that about yourself? (no probably not) imagine what you could say. You know what, we all have times in our lives when we make mistakes and wish we could change something we have done or said, but right here right now you can take some time to be kind to yourself allow yourself to reflect on how far you have come, whilst learning so many lessons of discovering new experiences in your life journey and allowing yourself to feel good about the person you are transforming into, growing all the way and noticing the different teachers that may enter your life to guide you somehow if you just take that time to be quiet, still and listen you will receive your answers and with that you will find your own happiness and realise it has been there all along. Now you can spread your wings whilst creating a ripple effect of joy to every human being you meet along the way!

Mindfulness Is Happiness"

While becoming more mindful is often a challenging journey, it is ultimately worthwhile. Becoming more aware of who you are and why you feel pain or depression can go a long way to healing your issues and making you a happier, healthier person.

5 Things to STOP doing to make you Happy

1. STOP Worrying - This was something l used to do a lot , especially when l became a parent for the first time, l would worry about what other people thought of me (that l was being judged as a mother), I would worry about my children hurting themselves or someone else hurting them whilst not being able to protect them. Although l am quite sure a lot of other first time parents could say they experienced similar worries, l wish l had a mum around me back then to just keep loving me and re-assuring me the way l now know l can for my adult children when they become first time parents and l am lucky enough to have become a first time grand parent and due to my own personal growth l have a remarkable relationship with my son and daughter in law (of which I am ever so grateful for) I also understand that it is up to me to create the relationships l want with the people that mean the most to me (this takes awareness of self). The moral of my story is if l never had the courage to recognise l needed to do things differently l would not grow and probably make myself quite sick with worry, and to be honest it really does not help anyone. So l have learnt to STOP worrying about stuff that is out of my control or not really that important and just look at what is important and what l can do and where l can best serve. Encourage, accept and love another human to support them on their journey by re-assuring them that they do not have to worry. You might think to yourself yes it is "easier said than done" and my answer to that is now well no actually it is "easier done than said" Just by turning those words around it has given this quote new meaning! Think about it! If you want to learn more about how to Stop worrying so much in your life about so many different things - Being too fat, being too skinny, not being pretty enough, not being strong enough, not being clever enough - let me hold your hand along the way of learning new thought patterns made easy!

2. STOP Blaming other people, things or circumstances for what is happening in your life!

This is a big one as it is so easy to Blame others (why is this important?) because then you do not have to look at your own part in something. You know when you actually start taking responsibility for your own life and Stop the excuses or blame this is really when life starts to change for the better and you take the time to really get to know yourself. You see the thing is, there are some people in life that just seem to think it is ok to treat and speak to other people badly and make no apologies for it. No matter why or what has happened to them in their lives it really is no excuse to behave inappropriately some people have just never been taught these things. Once you pay attention to your own behavioural patterns and start to question why your maybe not very well liked or people often do things for you to people please, keep the peace or are afraid to set their own boundaries so it continues to allow the bad behaviour. You see to STOP this we have to Love and Respect the person we are ourselves as it is only then that we can START to Love and Respect others. I was the people pleaser back in the day because l was fearful and since l have recognised this l have become so much more resilient, stronger and absolutely know how to set my own boundaries to gain respect from the people that are important in my life whilst also respecting myself. This is truly a gift once the lesson is learnt and sometimes we keep repeating things for a long time wondering why we keep getting the same results, so when we make the change, shift ourselves is when another will either walk beside us or they will leave, or try their best to bring us back down to their level because of some kind of fear that they may have and are to scared to face it, you know that saying he or she just buries their head in the sand (in other words they do not face it) and it is not until we look at ourselves and confront the fear that Life just continues to become better and better each day as we accept and love the person we are inside and out! "YOU HAVE TO FEEL TO HEAL".

3. STOP attaching yourself to something that is NOT yours - Ownership

This is also something that we often do without intention or realising that it is happening, it is called Ownership we somehow believe for whatever reason that when you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, child that they are our property to do to them what we see fit whether it may or may not be harmful to them, it is like an expectation that they should be the way you want them to be to keep you happy, whilst quite unintentional you can be causing a lot of grief in that human. So when we change our thinking and realise that every human big or small are all individual (yes of course with babies we care and nurture them until they are old enough to do so themselves). When having the understanding that as a parent or partner that when we accept, love and respect ourselves we have no insecurities so things like jealousy, anger, resentment, frustration are not an issue because we are there to Love, Nurture, Support, Encourage, Re-assure them not make fun of them or criticise them or tell the what their faults are. This way we do not attach ourselves with the ownership of another. To get to this space in life can take a lot of self development and courage in our own lives to again look at our own behaviour and ask ourselves what am l fearful about that makes me react in such a negative way (the answer is usually something to do with fear of something Loss is a big one for a lot of people l have worked with over the years.) Usually it is most peoples biggest fear that actually happens because they have created it, so the beautiful thing about non attachment is that it not only frees up the people you have relationships with it also frees you up to be the absolute BEST version of yourself this is where you experience the Magic when you allow it! Trust me l have been through it all and managed to come out the other side and it is the most Wonderful thing to know and have TRUST in your own ability and you will be that person that also knows how to bring out the BEST in others which does have a ripple effect!

4. STOP being the person that others expect of you! Again we often say Yes to things that we really do not want to say Yes to and once we can learn to say No you will notice that it is not that difficult and it changes things. One of the things l used to be very guilty of, l would do things for others to make them happy and never realised how resentful l could become but because l used to say Yes all the time people became to expect that of me oh yes just ask Chrissy she is good at that so she will do it for you and so on. So hence l would do it and walk away feeling tired, irritable or frustrated as l had not had time to do the things l really wanted to get done. This certainly does not mean that your being selfish it just means again that we have to respect our time and when we really want to do something and have the time to be able to we can say YES whilst enjoying and having fun with whatever the experience is that you have said Yes to. It is not another persons fault it is just that they are used to what we are like so when we say No they may get a bit upset with us or they might surprise you and say well thank you for letting me know you are unable to be there at that time etc as l now have time to organise something or someone else and it was not even an issue, it is just the story we can conjure up in our own minds. Here's the thing when you always put yourself in another persons shoes, think about what it must be like for them and ask yourself if you were asking something of them and they said No to you how would you react or respond? Mind you everyone has their own map of the world and that is OK! How do we really get to be intimate with another human if we are not asking questions (ie. what do you mean by that? How are you feeling right now? then LISTEN to their answers before making any assumptions.)

5. STOP being Fearful

Yes I know this is a big ask!

This is something l read myself in regards to giving up FEAR and l thought it was described beautifully which is why l am sharing it here. Give up on your fears - Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist - you created it. It's all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”  Franklin D. Roosevelt

I can honestly say with all my heart l do not feel Fear in my life these days, l do not even fear death l just be Grateful for every waking day that l have here on the planet we call earth and because this is the Best feeling ever l just want other people to get to experience what it Feels like for themselves because it is truly possible. Please do not think for a moment that l am saying things will be perfect for you all of the time as so many different things happen in the circle of life that we would never have imagined however when we build resilience, strength, hope and courage we are able to better cope and understand whether we need to step in and do something or just mind our own business and stand back to let others work it out for themselves. although at times challenging when you know what to do and how to be it just seems to magically work out somehow for the better!

Here is another little Mindfulness quote that l am sure you can resonate with - Being mindful is not necessarily about being happy all of the time. Becoming more mindful will not bring you instant peace and satisfaction. It will, however, make you more aware of what causes you distress and how you can move towards creating the life you want.